Private Universe
by nogigglingmajor
Summary: For the first time in his life he took off running without the slightest idea as to what he was going to do next.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** This is my first ever Stargate Atlantis story! And just like Stargate SG-1, I don't own anything.

**AN:** This is a rather weird story, came to me while listening to _'Private Universe'_ by Crowed house, which is the song used in this story. I not exactly sure what to say about the story, only that I hope you like it. I think perhaps it's abstract. Please listen to hr song, as you can really get the feel for a storm in a jungle.

Private Universe 

The sky was darkening with rolling thunderclouds when John Sheppard gave the order to clear out. For the first time in his life he took off running without the slightest idea as to what he was going to do next.

"ELIZABETH!" It was Rodney.

"RUN!" She screamed back. "Just run, we'll find each other I promise!" The look on Rodney's face changed to one of pure terror. He knew there were too many; he knew the team couldn't fight. He also knew that this could be the last time he saw any of his teammates again. He took off after Ronan and this gave Elizabeth some relief. Ronan was a very private man, who appeared cold, but she knew he cared deeply for his team; he'd take care of Rodney. She felt a tug on her arm and urged her feet to move faster as John pulled her along. She could hear the roar of the monsters behind her, and her only thought was to keep running. The pair soon entered foliage that turned into a deep jungle, reminding Elizabeth of the ones in Africa. Thunder was more frequent now, announcing the coming storm. New noises surrounded her but she was too terrified to scream.

John knew his legs should be hurting, but he felt no pain and knew it was because of shock. He'd managed to keep an eye on Ronan and Rodney untill they disappeared into the jungle and he and Elizabeth had veered left. Every now and then he thought he heard footsteps but he wasn't about to stop and find out. His grip on Elizabeth's arm was like steel and he doubted he could let go, even if he tried. They had slowed down quite a bit due to the uneven, fern covered ground, and he tried to move faster.

Elizabeth could feel the first drops of rain on her skin and saw lightening flash. She looked up to the sky as they passed through a clearing, in time to see another flash and a loud thunder roll. And suddenly she was back more than 20 years ago.

_**No time, no place to talk about the weather**_

_**the promise of love is hard to ignore.**_

_**You said the chance wasn't getting any better**_

_**the labor of love is ours to endure.**_

_**The highest branch on the apple tree**_

_**it was my favorite place to be.**_

_**I could hear them breaking free**_

_**but they could not see me.**_

_"Elizabeth! Come inside now, it's getting late." 8-year-old Elizabeth turned in her place in the tree and saw her mother standing on the porch of the family house._

"_Not yet. You know the cats aren't out at this time. I want to watch the antelope cross." The banging of the screen door let her know her mother had relented, and she turned back to watch over the plain. Her family's house was located on one of the many hills overlooking the plain, and to Lizzy's innocent mind everyone had a backyard like this. Though it wasn't fenced, she had been taught from an early age that the tree marked the edge of the garden and to go beyond that someone had to be with her. She stood up on the branch as she heard the familiar distant rumbling, and laughed with glee as the herd cam stampeding onto the plain. The antelope always crossed at dusk, and Lizzy would always watch. 'I love living in Africa,' she thought as she climbed down. Though the idea of living anywhere else had never yet occurred to her._

Elizabeth felt a yank on her arm, and barely managed to stop herself from falling flat on her face as John pulled her forward. But when she looked ahead, it wasn't John who was urging her on, but a small coloured boy. And when she looked down at her feet she saw not boot s and fatigues, but denim overalls, the cuffs rolled up at her ankles and her feet in heshan sandals.

"Kym?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Lizzy had first met Kym when she was 4 years old, and had just moved to Africa. Kym had a native mother and a white father, but his upbringing was still very traditional. He'd taken Lizzy under his wing immediately and shown her his world. By the age of 8 they were practically siblings, nothing was ever secret between them and Lizzy knew the land and animals as well as any native. By now she was fluent in Kym's language as well as knowing bits of the various other tribal languages, and the pair communicated in a garble of English and tribal. Every spare moment was spent together, out in the plain or just within the edge of the jungle. They both attended the local school, but Elizabeth also received home schooling from her mother and was a grade above Kym. She supposed it was the amount of time she spent with him that made her such a tomboy. Sure she socialised with the girls at school, but dolls and skirts had never interested her. Though she loved pink, especially the pink of her hair ribbon._

_**I will run for shelter**_

_**endless summer lift the curse.**_

_**It feels like nothing matters**_

_**in our private universe.**_

The pair had slowed to a crawl now. The ground was steep, probably a hill and John was struggling with the climb, partly because of his hold on Elizabeth and partly because he was plain tired. He shook the wrist he held but got no response. Looking back he saw Elizabeth's unfocused eyes, yet concentrated look. Her lips moved but no sound came forth. He turned back and continued on. There was no time to stop.

_**I have all I want, is that simple enough?**_

_**A whole lot more I'm thinking of.**_

_**Every night about six o'clock**_

_**birds come back to the pond to talk.**_

_**They talk to me -- birds to talk to me**_

_**if I go down on my knees.**_

_Something was changing in Lizzy's world. Silences stretched between her parents and often, lat at night she would hear them argue. She still walked with her father to the town every Saturday and their chess games in the evenings never changed. Similarly the time with her mother was likewise the same. This wasn't her only problem; in school the class had been divided in the afternoons. The boys went out into the playground with Mr Sims, while the girls stayed in the classroom with Miss Gabby. The talks were about puberty and the changes that would soon be happening to their bodies. Lizzy was 10 and for her the changes had already started. Her mother answered any questions she had, but Lizzy still found the changes alarming and took great comfort in knowing that Kym was going through the same thing._

"_You got hair yet?" the pair were making wreaths out of long grass in the afternoon._

"_No, but mom, says I'm starting to get boobs." She undid her overalls and pulled her top tight to show Kym the two swollen lumps on her chest._

"_Cool, just like Mama." Lizzy shrugged._

"_I don't like them, they get in the way." The next day after school Kym waved her over and together they set off for the plain._

"_Look! I got boobs too!" He stuck his chest out to show two suspicious mounds. _

"_What?" He laughed and lifted up his top to revel newspaper scrunched into balls, and stuck to his chest._

"_They're not real, but I figured since you didn't like yours, if I got some maybe you wouldn't feel so bad. Mama helped." Lizzy smiled, but then frowned._

"_Something's wrong with my parents Kym." She began to cry and Kym held her till the sun set._

Elizabeth was shot back to reality when the ground disappeared from beneath her feet and her and John went tumbling down a steep slope. They rolled for what seemed like forever before coming to an abrupt halt in the pouring rain, both of them soaked through.

"Under the fern, warmer." John barely hard Elizabeth's words as the she dragged him under the plant, and in from the rain. They curled together for warmth and Elizabeth told him all she had remembered that day.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

John woke in the early dawn and was slightly disorientated for a while before the previous days' events and pain came flooding back; he let his head fall back with a groan. His clothes were damp, but no longer sopping wet; it _was_ warm under here and steam was rising up through the leaves._ Elizabeth_. He looked down to find her still curled into him; they obviously hadn't moved from when they'd fallen asleep. They had to get moving. John peered out, scanning the area before waking Elizabeth.

"My parents divorced." She was still telling the story as John led her from the fern.

_Lizzy was 11 when her parents divorced._

"_I'm not leaving Africa, you can't make me. I don't want to leave!" Her father sat her down and took her hands in his._

"_Elizabeth, your mother and I have talked about this, and we both believe it's best for you to go to Wisconsin with your mother. You can go to a proper school and you'll come back here every holidays." A distraught Lizzy had fled to the doorstep of her best friends house. When Kym's mother opened the door and saw the girls tear streaked face, she took her into her arms._

"_Kym, come. We walk." Kym's expression saddened when he learned the story and his mother took them both down to the plains. Lizzy knew she was safe; the mother knew the movements of the big cats. Together the three made traditional head wreaths and sung songs in the native language. This was Lizzy's first farewell._

_**I will run for shelter**_

_**endless summer lift the curse**_

_**it feels like nothing matters**_

_**in our private universe**_

No running today, John was sure they'd covered enough distance the day before. They walked, hand in hand through dense foliage. Elizabeth had been talking for most of the morning, and John was wondering whether he should be worried, but honestly, her voice was the only thing keeping him going, and it was obviously helping her in some way. They climbing another hill and it seemed all just a continuous mountain range. The sky was blue, but underneath the jungle canopy the air was cold.

"I didn't like Wisconsin, the city was loud and frightening. At school I was different and I didn't fit in with the girls; no one seemed to approve of my rough and tumble play with the boys. I kept my head down and focused on my schoolwork, the high marks keeping my mother happy. "

"Is that when you started your languages?" John's voice was hoarse, not having spoken for over 24 hours. Surprisingly, Elizabeth answered.

"Yes, French and German. My mother taught me as well; she was an anthropologist and spoke several languages. My body was changing rapidly now and without Kym to confide in, I felt very alone. True to my father's word, I went back to Africa every holidays and this insured my knowledge of the place and my friendship with Kym stayed strong. As it was, I'd return to the country in only 2 years."

"Why?'

"My father developed cancer and both mom and I wanted to be near him. I never looked back at Wisconsin as we boarded the plane, and I never missed it."

In the afternoon rain began to fall and soon John and Elizabeth were soaked through. As the storm grew in intensity they reached the top of the ridge. It was a rocky outcrop that looked over the land and in the distance something akin to a savannah was just visible.

"We'll head there in the morning, there might be a stargate." Elizabeth nodded and pointed to the rocks.

"We're best to stay in there tonight, I'm going to find food." The flippancy between 'Lizzy' and 'Elizabeth' was starting to worry John, but as long as she was at least one of them, things were somewhat ok. John watched her go and set about checking the cave and collecting rainwater. The pair hadn't eaten of drunk in nigh on 48 hours and now that he concentrated on the fact, his stomach clenched painfully.

About an hour later the thunder and lightening had turned ferocious and John waited anxiously for Elizabeth to return. When she did she was dripping but carried an assortment of plants and a dead rodent-like creature. She dumped the pile at the entrance but stayed standing in the rain.

"Elizabeth, come inside." Lightening flashed and Elizabeth raised her head and arms to the sky. John suddenly felt like he was seeing Elizabeth for the first time. There was something supernatural about her, something wild and just so…_woman_ about her in that moment. He shook his head and tried again. "Elizabeth you'll get cold." She lowered her arms and locked gazes with him; his mouth went dry.

"Then you'll have to make me warm." In _that_ tone of voice the words were _definitely _suggestive. John backed up as Elizabeth proceeded to strip off her fatigues, standing in a thin black top and shorts that she wore underneath, and walked towards him.

"Elizabeth…"

"Shh, John." She whispered as she pushed him back and lowered herself over him. Her kiss was gentle, and John's hand soon found it's way through her wet hair to cradle the back of her head and bring her closer. One of Elizabeth's hands rested on his chest while the other began pushing his jacket off. She slid her leg along his to bend at his thigh and sighed at the new contact. John quickly roused himself when Elizabeth pulled her lips from his. He watched as she sat up, the lightening illuminating her body as she roved her top and bra.

"Elizabeth-"

"It doesn't matter." John was taken aback, this wasn't the Elizabeth he knew, and protection should darn well matter!

"'Lisbeth-"

"It doesn't matter John, what's to lose?" She kissed him again ad he surrendered.

It feels like nothing matters 

_**in our private universe**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When John awoke the next morning his arm was numb.

"The sticks are almost dry." He looked around at the voice and was surprised to see Elizabeth up and fully dressed. _Didn't they just…_ She was kneeling at a small enclosure of rocks he had set up during the night. In all the panic and running John had completely forgotten that both he and Elizabeth were wearing their protective vests, and probably had more supplies on them than they thought; his search hadn't be futile. He'd discovered two knives, the handles of which when struck together created sparks. He's use these to light a hexamine tablet (he discovered a box of these as well), and had placed the sticks on a carefully constructed stand over the small fire in an effort to dry the wood for later use. Both his and Elizabeth's radio's were useless, having been crushed in their tumble down the hill. He kept them though, they be useful some other way.

"Good, we'll carry them under our jackets to keep them dry." He replied, still confused as to whether the events of the night were a dream or not. After a small breakfast of various plants, which Elizabeth had collected, the pair headed out and plotted a course to the plain in the distance. Or rather John plotted it; Elizabeth appeared to have slipped back into her story. Like all the days before, John grasped Elizabeth's hand.

And it's a pleasure that I have known 

Returning to Africa had been easy for 13-year-old Lizzy; everyone was glad to see the pair return. Lizzy was now 2 grades above Kym, but this never impeded on their friendship, and they instantly returned to their previous antics. She and her mother moved back into the house on the hill, but her parents were still very much separate. Her life continued as it always had and a year later Lizzy got her first period.

"My mother hugged me and immediately announced a celebration before ringing Una, Kym's mother, to tell the news. Later that day my father approached me and gave me my first red rose, with a knowing smile._ "You have fun with the women, and when you come back will have a celebration of our own."_ He kissed me on the cheek and I blushed as he walked back to his study. He got tired a lot now." They were walking down a gully and both were constantly slipping on the wet, rocky ground.

"Let's take a break…Elizabeth sit down." It was hard to get through to the woman when she was in this state. Even though she'd answer his questions, John wondered if she realised or even remembered their situation. Remembered evacuating all the personnel they could to the mainland with Teyla, remembered it being too late and that some, including the team, had been trapped when the Sen arrived. There was a bright flash and the team had found themselves on a shoreline, being backed into the surrounding jungle by, what he could only describe, as Dinosaurs. He could only hope that Teyla and the others were ok. Atlantis was lost though, and he wanted to cry.

"Elizabeth, do you remember what happened? Back on Atlantis?" She looked at him curiously.

"Atlantis? What are talking about Kym?" _Shit_ something really was wrong. Not only was she telling the story, she was acting it. But she'd answered his questions and they'd…John was really starting to believe the night was just his overtired mind playing tricks. He hadn't made love to Elizabeth. Elizabeth was still looking at him, so John decided to play along.

"Nothing, just dreaming. What happens next in your story Lizzy?"

"Oh yes!" She pushed her hair behind her ears in a childish manner. "My mother also spoke Una's language and after lunch we spent the afternoon with her in an Initiation ceremony for me. Una always used to do stuff like that for me, always made me feel part of the family. She was my second mother. When I returned home, I found my father waiting in his study with the chessboard set up.

"_Not my little girl now huh? Young lady more like."_ I blushed. _"I'm really proud of you Lizzy and for this special occasion I have a gift."_ He turned around a fumbled in his drawers before holding a clasped hand out to me. Something round, cold and silver dropped into my palm. I gasped. I knew what this was. The chain watch had been his grandfather's. _"For me?" "Yes, princess. You're a woman now."_ I launched myself into his arms and demanded stories of my childhood instead of chess." John smiled, another piece of information to file away.

"Come on Elizabeth, time to get moving." They walked for another 3 hours before setting up camp. The rodent from the previous day was inedible now, and Elizabeth went of to catch another, while John used the dry sticks to start a fire. He gutted the creature Elizabeth brought back and to their nearly empty stomachs, it was heaven. They curled together once again for sleep, Elizabeth linking their fingers. It had been 4 days; tomorrow they would reach the plain and begin their search for the stargate. John's concern was only on the increase however. Elizabeth was obviously stuck in her childhood. He knew all about this; he'd taken psychology in uni. This was one way of the mind dealing with a great shock. There was no way of snapping a person out of it, he'd have to wait until it came to its natural end and who knew when that would be. He pulled her closer and curved her away from the open air.

_Lizzy's parents had never stopped loving each other; they'd just lost that spark. As her father became sicker, her parents became closer, to the point of her mother barely leaving his side. In his last weeks, Lizzy stopped going to school and the 3 of them would spend all day in her father's room. He died 6 months after her 14__th__ birthday. That was when Lizzy started wearing the watch, and the first Saturday she had to walk into town on her own, she cried the entire way. There were a lot of silences that year and Lizzy spent less and less time at home, not sure how to deal with her devastated mother._

_**And it's a treasure that I have gained**_

_The ages of 15 through 17 were years of discovery for both Lizzy and Kym. He was the first boy she kissed, the first boy for everything. She still remembered the first time his hand had into beneath her jeans. They never developed romantic feelings for each other, but were instead a safety net for experimenting before trying things out in the real world._

"_Sometimes I think you spend too much time with Kym." Lizzy looked at her mother, and wondered whether her mother knew what they were doing. More sex, than anything else. Lizzy didn't really care though, she was careful and she knew when to stop. The two families had grown close after her father's death._

_**And it's a pleasure that I have known**_

John and Elizabeth were slowly making their way down the last slope before the plain, when the tone of Elizabeth's voice changed.

"Kym died when we were 18. It was awful." John's step faltered, but Elizabeth held him up. "We were sitting in the plain when it happened. I'd been out of school for a while now and spent the days working in town or starting college with my mom. Recently, poachers had been killing on the plain and that evening Kym and I heard the truck. Kym stood up and yelled; he was angry. There was a shot and I've never seen anyone fall so fast. I screamed, not caring if the poachers noticed me. They simply laughed and drove off. I ran and found Kym crumpled on the ground, his eyes unfocused and his voice calling me. The bullet had gone into his brain and I knew there was nothing I could do. I was sobbing as I cradled him in my arms and placed his hands on my face. His death was quick, but I stayed, rocking his body until a search party found us at dusk. I'll never forget Una's scream as she realised her only son was dead. She wrapped her arms around both of us and howled, my mother soon joined us. I looked up to see Kym's father, a man I'd never really known, staring shell-shocked at his son's dead body, unable to move. For days Una sat in that spot wailing, and I watched her from my tree; for the longest time I wasn't able to go past that boarder. They found and sentenced the poachers to death by hanging. I wanted to watch, to seek my revenge, but mom wouldn't allow me, said I seen enough death for one lifetime, and look what I'm doing now!" She was coming back into the present and finished with a laugh.

"Elizabeth…"

"It wasn't fair!" She took off, running across the plain, and after a second of hesitation John followed, they had no idea what was out there!

"Elizabeth! STOP!" Eventually she did, 70 meters into the plain, crumbling to the ground sobbing. John couldn't help her. He slammed his foot angrily into the ground and stormed across the plain away from his boss.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Wow, this is a really different world from SJ. Hardly anyone reviews? Is it that I can't write, or are you just all quiet? Need more reviews if I'm gonna keep posting. Also got a very Sparky story in line but I'm not whether I'll post it now.

Chapter 5 

It was a week after Kym's death when Lizzy finally exploded. Her anger hurled at her mother.

"_2 years you took from me! 2 years I could've spent with Kym! Why'd you do that? I hated Wisconsin and I never fitted in. I hate you!" She'd gone to slap her mother, but the woman was quick and caught her daughter's trembling arm and brought her, struggling, to her chest._

"_Because I thought it was the best thing for you. I did it because that's what I thought was right. But maybe it wasn't…it suited me more than you. I was wrong, I'm sorry." They cried for a long time._

_**It's a tight squeeze, but I won't let go**_

_**time is on the table and the dinner's cold**_

John was fuming. He couldn't blame Elizabeth, really, she had no control over this, but he was angry. He was worried sick about the rest of the team, about Teyla and the other's on the mainland, about Atlantis. He was trying to take care of Elizabeth, himself, as well as trying to make a plan and find a way home and he just couldn't do it all! He buried his head in his hands as hot tears streamed down his face.

When Lizzy stopped crying, her throat was raw and the sun lower in the sky. Her head throbbed and she just wanted to sleep, but knew she had to find John. She found him on the edge of the plain, head still buried in hands. She gently wrapped her arms around him from behind and pulled him close and they sat like that until dark.

"Elizabeth…do you remember what happened?" It was night and the pair had silently set up camp, with a manageable fire. She looked across at him through the flames; it was the first he had spoken.

"I remember John. I remember evacuating as many personnel as we could and sending Teyla with them. I remember who died…" She listed the people off her fingers. " I remember the Sen coming and then suddenly being at the shore. I remember." He nodded, relieved.

"I worry about Rodney and Ronan. Hopefully, if they got high enough to see this, then they'll head here."

"We'll find them. I never go back on my promises." She sighed. "Besides, Ronan's a runner, this was his life." She curled up then and suddenly seemed insecure. "There's nothing for me to hide now, I don't why I got stuck in my childhood. I remember all our running and walking, but it was a younger me blocking my way. It seemed I couldn't move unless I lived the story."

"S'ok, that happens with shock, I wasn't much better, it was your voice that kept me going, kept me grounded." She looked at him, surprised, before turning to hide her smile.

For the next 2 weeks the pair walked the plain, camping and eating when they wanted. After days of discussing plans, strategies and the horrible events that had occurred, conversation turned to more personal matters as Elizabeth and John learnt more about each other's lives. By now Lizzy's hair was down at her shoulder blades, but John, who had refused to grow a beard had painfully shaved with his knife.

"I tell you what, first civilisation we find, I'm getting a haircut." Elizabeth laughed; John's hair was woolly and driving him insane.

"Me too."

"Maybe a trim, but I think your hair is lovely long." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"And what if I said the same about yours?" John eyed her as if she was crazy.

"I'd say you were nuts!" _Nuts about you. _Elizabeth was shocked at the thought, and desperately tried to work out where it had come from.

_**I will run for shelter**_

_**endless summer lift the curse**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next day brought excitement when John and Elizabeth came across, well an oasis really. As soon as they figure it safe, clothes were stripped and they dived in, only to finally realise how dirty they really were. They faced their backs to each other, but John still heard Elizabeth gag as she dragged her clothes into the water to be washed.

"Just dunk 'em under and scrub 'em hard!" After leaving the clothes to dry both diverged for a swim and private wash. As Elizabeth studied her reflection in the water, it was suddenly replaced by an intimate one of her and John. Frightened, she splashed at the reflection ad swam away feeling suddenly very exposed. That night she was quiet as they sat around the fire.

"John, that night…" John stiffened instantly and Elizabeth knew it was true.

"It was real?" John breathed the sentence and Elizabeth blushed hotly, then whispered,

"Yes, it was real." Silence. " I – I don't know- I was…I wasn't myself. It…it wasn't supposed to happen that way and I-" She hid her head in her hands while John just stared at her. _She'd thought about them together?_ He desperately wanted to ask but held the words back knowing this was not the time. He reached across and squeezed her hands.

"We were in shock; none of us were in our right minds. We were in the middle of godforsaken nowhere being chase by…by dinosaurs!" He received a small smile for his description of the beasts. "It's ok you know?" Elizabeth's head shot up and she exploded.

"No! It's not ok! I never do anything like that. I don't just have…have sex anytime! It has to mean something." Her voice was quiet and John felt hurt, _it did mean something_. She was starting to cry now and he wanted to comfort her but knew she would not accept him.

"Do…do you want me to leave you alone?" Elizabeth nodded and listened to him walk away. She felt sick, naked and violated though she knew she couldn't blame John. He hadn't forced her, hell he'd tried to stop her! But she'd convinced him otherwise. What would he think of her now? He'd seen all of her. Another thought then occurred to Elizabeth _no protection_; she quickly lent over and vomited.

John was hurt, but knew Elizabeth was reacting the only way she knew how, and perhaps she would change her opinion once they were back home._ Home. _ God, if it was still there. Elizabeth slept away from him that night. The arrangement lasted for 3 nights; 3 long, cold nights. Elizabeth woke up, cold and shivering and looked over to where John lay. Whether he woke with the cold she didn't know, but watching him shivering in his sleep, she knew one thing; this was ridiculous. Crawling over to John, Elizabeth wrapped herself around his back and sighed at the instant heat. John said nothing of the resumed sleeping arrangement.

_**it feels like nothing matters**_

_**in our private universe**_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was a strange thing…seeing the Stargate again. Instead of running up the steps and kissing the stone as one might expect, John and Elizabeth eyed it cautiously as if it were foreign. It had been over a month now, and Elizabeth's hair blew in the wind, while John's cuts were starting to disappear; he'd mastered the skill of knife shaving. They sat on the steps in silence for a long time.

"I'll leave in 2 days." John spoke up.

"I'm coming with you." John rolled his eyes; he knew this would happen.

"No you're not. We don't even know if Atlantis is still there. I'll go to an ally and try to get to the mainland; find Teyla and the others. You wait here for Rodney and Ronan." Elizabeth looked at him disbelieving.

"So what, you're leaving me here to play mum? You'll need help John. What if you run into trouble? God knows you attract it like flies." The last bit was a mumble under her breath and John ignored it.

"Exactly. I'm used to these situations and how to get out of them. I know you've received some training, but I'm more experienced at this. Besides, I'd get sick of Rodney within a day and without you here I'd probably shoot him." John regretted the words the minute they left his mouth. Elizabeth looked at him coldly as she sat back down.

"If he's not already dead. I haven't stopped worrying about them you know? Hoping they're reasonably close, hoping they're ok. I wouldn't shoot him." John cursed himself.

"Elizabeth…" She cut him off.

"You go in two days time and I'll do what I always do; wait for my team to come home."

Plan A went ahead, John left and Elizabeth stayed behind, staring at the gate for a long time. It was tempting to just dial home, but she knew not too. Earth was out of the question; the gate at Atlantis was barely able to do it. For 2 weeks she followed the routine she'd had with John; she woke, found food, collected water, collected food, secured the excuse of a campsite and waited on the steps till sunset. It was during this time, that she thought she heard distant voices. More than a month in the wilderness had made her first instinct that of running, and she dived undercover as the voices got louder.

"See, a Stargate! I told you we'd find one. I am a totally genius." _Rodney!_ At first Elizabeth was unable to move for the shock and disbelief of seeing her two friends. Rodney was already at the gate and Ronan was fighting his way out of the under bush on the edge of the clearing.

"RODNEY!" She yelled it loud and clear and came running from her hiding spot. Rodney stood and gaped before being engulfed by his boss and promptly grabbing her tightly in return. Elizabeth was crying and so relieved that she didn't notice how Ronan too, had joined the hug and that the three of them had sunk to the ground. Later on though, she would notice the compete change in Ronan. He was open in his affection and until John returned, took it upon his shoulders to protect and watch over the group.

Slowly but surely, the stories tumbled out. Rodney and Ronan had travelled almost perpendicular to the path of Elizabeth and John, and as a result been much closer to the stargate when they had spotted it, while climbing trees for fruit. Rodney was still much the same, but had definitely grown to be more action than his usual hide-when-wraith-come. Unlike John however, he now had a long beard that Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at, and she knew John would never let him live it down. Gazing across at her friends, Elizabeth reflected on the journey she had finally finished. Wondered how she'd survived, how they'd all managed to survive. She would wonder about it for the rest of her life. When she'd signed up for Atlantis, she hadn't expected this, to be running for her life on an unknown planet, living how she'd seen many primitive cultures live. Now, going home was what scared her. She wasn't sure if she could go back. How would she act? She'd changed so much, experienced so much, she felt like she'd been in war. Separated as she was from people, how could she reassimilate? She could barely explain what she felt to herself.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

One evening, the thought scared Elizabeth so much that she turned to the one person she knew who could give her an answer.

"Ronan…this is what your life was like right? Before we found you." The runner looked at her for a moment before replying.

"Yes." Elizabeth twisted her hands nervously.

"How did you do it? Adapt and fit in?" Ronan shrugged his shoulders.

"I just did. Sometimes you just have to, there is no how. It'll be weird for a while, but eventually you find a level in which to settle. I'm still finding it." It was the most the man had ever said in one go, and Rodney, who had tuned in, stood speechless.

"The man's a philosopher." Silence, before Elizabeth slapped Rodney playfully on the arm and the three burst into hysterics. The sound was broken by that of an engaging wormhole.

"John." Elizabeth hugged him and smiled in a way that stole his breath.

"Elizabeth, we can go home." She backed away and looked at him warily.

"Home?" He nodded before turning and running to greet his teammates and friends. Elizabeth watched from a distance, suddenly feeling the need to run again. A shoulder landed firmly on her shoulder. It was Ronan.

"We're not leaving until the morning, it will be alright Elizabeth." It was the first time he'd said her name, and she never heard Dr. Weir again.


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue – 1 Year Later

Standing on the balcony Elizabeth let the sea breeze wash over her and breathed deeply. Opening her eyes she saw a view that was once again familiar to her. Looking back at her office and the inside of the gateroom, she saw the same. It had been weird, very weird to come back here, to see everyone again. Teyla had taken charge in her absence and under hers and the remaining team's guidance, they had gathered forces and retaken the city. There had been deaths and Teyla had prepared messages for each family during the clean up and resettlement of Atlantis. She wouldn't tell Elizabeth details, but the woman could well imagine how the teams would have found the remaining personnel who'd been trapped with the Sen. She shook her head, and forced back the tears.

John stepped silently onto the balcony and took a moment to observe the woman at the railing. Her hair was still just below her shoulder blades; she'd trimmed it but kept it long. It reminded her of what had happened and was a physical symbol of the change she had undergone, everyone had undergone. Much had changed now and the Atlantis colony was a lot closer, more family like. During meal times the mess was full with people spending quality time together, and movie and game nights were common. Even Elizabeth never missed one; work could wait she'd discovered. There were much more important things, like love and friends. As a result she'd altered the rules that governed their lives, those of fraternisation. _I will not be the cause of someone's heartbreak._ Those had been her words, to him and the whole party gathered in the gateroom a month after returning home. John was finally at ease again, going out on regular missions, having normal arguments with Rodney, and still attracting trouble like flies. The ordeal with the Sen now seemed a lifetime away, like a myth slowly fading into mist.

Elizabeth sensed his presence as soon as he walked through the doors, but knew she need not turn and acknowledge him; he knew she knew he was there. He came up behind her and she felt him gather her hair together and plait it how she'd always worn it as a child. When she flipped it over her shoulder to examine she saw the pink ribbon that was holding it together, she smiled gently and turned back to sea.

"Dinner with me later?" They hadn't discussed what had happened on the planet, and Elizabeth didn't think they would. It was the past and it wasn't important anymore. What was important was the journey they were embarking on. She blushed and answered him.

"Yes."

_**I will run for shelter**_

_**endless summer lift the curse**_

_**it feels like nothing matters**_

_**in our private universe**_


End file.
